Neuroinclusion Isn’t a One-Size-Fits-All: Navigating Conflicting Needs At Work
We’ve made some solid progress on workplace adjustments for neurodivergent employees in recent years. But there's one that is potentially going to stall future progress if we don't talk about it... and that is...
What happens when two neurodivergent people have conflicting needs? 💭
This is something I've been pondering for a while now. I don't have a solid solution yet, but I'm now confident in my hypothesis that this area needs more attention. And who would have thought that a TREADMILL of all things would have confirmed that hypothesis?! 🏃🏾
Last week, I posted about someone else’s poll on LinkedIn, asking whether it's appropriate for an interviewer to walk on a treadmill during a job interview. In the comments, someone replied with:
What Do Conflicting Needs Look Like In The Workplace?
A few real examples from real workplaces:
Fidget toys vs. sound sensitivity: Someone with ADHD needs to click or tap to focus. Someone with misophonia hears that click and feels distress or panic.
Verbal vs. written processing: A dyslexic person may find it easier to discuss ideas verbally, but someone with auditory processing challenges may rely on written communication.
Lighting needs: Bright lighting helps one person stay alert. That same brightness might cause migraines, overwhelm, or visual distortion for someone else.
Movement vs. stillness on calls: Walking meetings regulate energy for some. For others, especially those with vestibular sensitivity or slower processing, that motion can be actively disruptive.
We’re losing nuance with binary thinking.
One commenter on my post articulated this perfectly:
“It’s so tempting to be seduced by the binary simplicity of right or wrong, us vs. them, neurotypical vs. neurodivergent - but in the rush to be right and to pick a side, we lose the nuance that makes us human.”
When “respecting neurodivergent needs” becomes shorthand for “saying yes to whatever one person requests,” we lose the ability to have honest conversations, and risk silencing valid access needs from others.
Boundaries go both ways
Another commenter wrote:
“Everyone, whether neurodivergent or neurotypical, is allowed to set their own boundaries. But forcing someone to abandon theirs for your comfort feels wrong.”
They’re right. But the reality is, sometimes our needs and boundaries are going to clash, and raising concerns about that isn't being unreasonable or being discriminatory... we all need boundaries to protect our wellbeing and mental health.
Addressing Conflicting Needs Makes Neuroinclusion Intersectional
If it is only the most privileged members of any marginalised group who are protected by systems, have their voices heard, and their needs met, then that's not true inclusion, it's selective and performative inclusion.
In the neurodiversity space, this can mean that the needs of cis-presenting, middle-aged white neurodivergent men are more likely to have their needs met, while those with less privilege, less visibility or more stigmatised forms of neurodivergence, such as Tourettes, are less likely to have their needs met.
But that’s not a personal failing. It’s a systemic issue.
And it becomes even more pertinent when access needs clash.
Take the treadmill example. The commenter (whose name I redacted) was a white man who framed any discomfort with his movement as “intolerance” - without recognising that other neurodivergent people might experience that movement as genuinely dysregulating.
This is why we need to bring an intersectional lens to neuroinclusion. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of privilege layers or how they shape lived experience, this introductory article on the wheel of power and privilege is a helpful starting point.
So What's The Solution?
Given that this area is barely being discussed in the neurodiversity space, there is no straightforward answer to that, and it will probably be a while until we have one. That's why it's so important to recognise these challenges and open up the conversation about them so one day we can get to a place where we can navigate conflicting needs better.
But I know you folks love some actionable stuff, so here are a few simple but effective things you can explore and implement:
Use tech to help bridge gaps: needing actions in writing after meetings may be difficult for a dyslexic person, so using a transcription tool like Tactiq (which I've used for years) to generate an AI summary with action points reduces the barrier for both sides.
Explore alternatives: Admittedly, many fidget toys are noisy, and even the sound of me using one dysregulates me, so finding quieter ones is a good compromise.
Involve the team, not just HR: Where possible, create team-level access agreements or ways-of-working documents that take conflicting needs into account.
Proactively explore ways of working and communicating as a team: this is generally just good practice anyway, but it gives you the opportunity to align skills and preferences with suitable team members.
Default to transparency, not defensiveness: It should be OK to say, "Here’s what helps me focus", and also OK to say, "That might be tough for me. Can we explore options?"
In Summary
Navigating conflicting access needs isn’t about finding the perfect fix. It’s about recognising that inclusion is a shared process, one that requires transparent conversation, vulnerability, and a willingness to sit with complexity.
One thing I want to leave you with is:
“We’ll make more progress if we stop calling people out and start inviting them in instead. So, who are you inviting into the conversation, and how will you invite them in?”
I hope this article will help spark those much-needed conversations and also broaden your perspective a bit. Learning from the comments in that post certainly helped me broaden my own!
And if you happen to be looking for a progressive and intersectional neurodiversity consultant who understands both the nuance and the systems change needed to create truly inclusive workplaces, that’s what I do 👋
I'll work with you to help you move beyond awareness into action, whether that’s through policy reviews, training for managers, HR folks and recruiters, or bespoke consultancy designed around your teams and your context.
Drop me a message or book a call here!
Thanks for reading and stay fabulous,
Parul x
